Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Friends today, Unfriend Tomorrow, next week....friends again.  I don’t know how y’all feel about your facebook friends.  Myself, I have MANY friends on online that I have never met in real life.  Some I have been very close to over the years.  Some, I barely know and have only a tiny bit of interaction. 

However, some come and go so often I think you could measure windspeed from their clicks of friending/unfriending. 

In my case I see many sweet sisters who mean well.  They want someone like-minded on topics like headcovering, modest attire/dresses, faith, homeschool, and homekeeping.  However in particular on the topic of headcovering.  Because I wear a veil, many sisters I don’t know in real life do “friend” me.  Sometimes curiosity causes it, sometimes they are beginning to cover themselves. 

It is GOOD to seek likeminded fellowship.  However, if for some reason that sister decides to uncover or has a shift in beliefs, then suddenly I am not worthy of friendship.  A few days, a week, or maybe a month later I get a friend request again.  Often the person is covering again or came back to that common ground again and decided to be my friend again.

Folks also love to “clean out” friends.  Closets and trash bins should be cleaned out.  Friends? I prefer not to be so harsh with my  terms there.  I absolutely understand the need to reduce time on sites like facebook.  I struggle with that too.  I find using a program called Cold Turkey very effective to control time.  The real goal is to develop better personal discipline.  Reducing time online is very wise.  However, treating people you asked to call friend as someone to be ‘cleaned’ out to me seems cold.  If you must spend less time online, absolutely do so.  That is GOOD!!!  Just, please think before you speak.

Am I perhaps oversensitive?  I don't think so because I know of other sisters who have been crushed and deeply hurt over being treated so disposable.  I try not to fret too much over it when people get on the serial friending and unfriending kick.  It is becoming so common for me. 

I simply keep accepting them back when they decide to be friendly again.  However, I admit, it does hurt my feelings a little when I see I have been unfriended yet again simply because someone isn’t covering anymore. (or whatever that common ground was)  If all I am to folks is just a picture of a veiled chick to hang on your profile, then why bother friending in the first place? 

If it is because of something I said, perhaps let me know?  I never intentionally intend to hurt anyone’s feelings.  If I have offended you, I would like to know so that I might make it right if that is possible.  Sometimes it might not be possible.  Sometimes we really and truly do need to unyoke.  However, I prefer to save the ‘shunning’ for only very serious situations.

Perhaps folks just don’t see the ‘facebook friends’ as real?  I don’t know.  I am sure in many situations it is different.  I write all of this for one reason.  It is simply to remind my sisters that you need to treat others as you wish to be treated.  REAL people are behind these monitors.  Real hearts.  Real feelings. 

Reduce time online, yes, but as you do....try not to be cold to people.  Unyoke with people due to incompatible convictions. (if you feel you must).  Be steadfast in your faith and endeavor not to shift with every new wind that blows.  If you are, I suspect you might find more DEPTH in the friendships you create.  They may not always be ‘in person’ friendships, but they can still bless you more than you ever thought possible.

2 comments:

  1. Well said. I actually have FB friends that I get along with great. I also have been "unfriended" by family members who didn't even have the common courtesy to tell me why.

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